“Everything Starts with You”
A Mindset Shift for Trauma Healing
Trauma healing starts with a mindset shift. This guide will help you understand how to take control of your healing journey and start the process of healing from within
Why do I say, ‘Everything Starts with You’?
Because you have the power of choice. Whether it’s mental, physical or emotional you have the choice to make your circumstances what you want them to be. Only you can begin to take the necessary steps to heal an IPC (Instant Pivotal Crisis) from within and move forward with your life. This guide will provide you with the tools and insights you need to start your journey towards trauma healing.
Starting with you, practice self-compassion and self-care
Your first choice should be surrounding yourself with compassion and self-care. What choices appeal to you when it comes to self-care physically? The following are some ideas and I’m sure there are more you can personalize for yourself.
- Exercise? What kind?
- A soak in the bathtub with bubbles and soft music? What type of music?
- Go for a walk or run? How far and where”
- Smooth a new body lotion into your skin? What scent?
- Eat something delicious and nutritious? From what food groups?
- Drink more water? How much?
Think of two of your own to add to this list and promise yourself you will do at least one today. Another tomorrow, and the next day until you are benefitting your physical health every day.
Do you see all the choices you have within the above? Not only have you pointed your thoughts away from thinking endlessly of your IPC, but you are concentrating on what will benefit your body. Plus, these choices are easy, not demanding or wearisome. Relaxation, movement and food help your body to ready itself for a bounce back.
Compassion just darn well feels good! Whether receiving or giving, it is warm, comfortable, self-affirming, allows you to release shame, criticism, blame, guilt, and more. It feels like taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling all the garbage from your mind. It is empathetic and freeing. How can you practice compassion for yourself? Here are some suggestions:
- Tell yourself what you like about you
- Recall the good, nice, helpful things you have done for others
- Think of your accomplishments
- You can make lists or write them in story form (about this amazing person…you).
We are quick to criticize ourselves and slow to pat ourselves on the back. It is not narcissistic to be compassionate, kind and self-affirming, it is healthy. Most of us need to practice this much more.
Challenge negative beliefs and thoughts
Remembering everything starts with you, Mentally, trauma can often lead to negative beliefs and thoughts about oneself, others, and the world. Negative beliefs can be deeply ingrained and can impact you in such a way that will slow and perhaps cause you to abandon your bounce back efforts.
You can’t let that happen to you. You can challenge these negative beliefs and thoughts and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.
- Practice self-awareness by being focused on what you are doing or thinking or feeling in the moment. We can only change something one moment at a time. Once a moment passes, you can’t go back, only forward. I like to tell myself “Fran, don’t waste your moments”.
- If you have a strong belief that does not serve you well, such as “The love of my life has died and I’ll never be able to love someone again. I’ll be alone the rest of my life”, it’s understandable. You have suffered an IPC (Instant Pivotal Crisis). In the beginning throes of grief just do whatever you need to do to express it. eg: cry long and cry hard and as often as you wish. Cry into a pillow if others are in the vicinity.
- Ask yourself, “Is my belief really true?”. No, it is not. We cannot foretell the future. However, thoughts have energy and as long as we practice negative beliefs, we will attract more negativity. So, even if you don’t believe it at the time, you must replace the negative thought with a positive one. eg: “In time, I will find love again”. And every time the negative though sneaks in, immediately say ‘stop’, silently or aloud, and replace it with the positive one. I promise you, with a bit of time, you will believe it. Remember, thoughts become things.
This can be done through therapy, journaling, or simply practicing self-awareness and mindfulness. By challenging negative beliefs and thoughts, you can start to shift your mindset towards a more positive and healing perspective
Seek support from trusted individuals or professionals
We are human beings and thus we are social beings. We need each other! Cutting yourself off from others will delay or even stop your healing. Recovering from trauma can be a difficult and emotional journey, and it’s important to seek support from trusted individuals or professionals. Choose carefully, but do choose. Listen to your gut (intuition), it is never wrong. This can include friends, family members, therapists, or support groups. Talking about your experiences and feelings with others can help you process your emotions and gain a new perspective on your situation. Additionally, seeking professional help can provide you with more tools and resources you need to heal and move forward. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone.
Focus on growth and resilience
When healing from trauma, it’s important to shift your mindset from one of victimhood to one of growth and resilience. You are not a victim and you don’t want to live such a life. You have suffered an IPC and you are meant to Bounce Back. Why? Because you are growing as a person and a spirit. When we are enduring our hardest times, we are doing our greatest growth. This is how we develop wisdom, it comes with experience, not schooling. There are no diplomas for wisdom, just a happier life. Look for the value in every experience.
You are never without a choice, choose the better one.
Listen to the short, music audio below and it will help bring in ideas of self-compassion and self-care.
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